Grace: A Model for Grieving, a Five-Step Guide for Healing after Loss, by Kay Towns. Hatherleigh, 2024, 160 pages, $18.00, paper.

How do we provide comfort and counsel for those who are stuck in an unrelenting experience of complicated grief? It is easy to tell them they need to move on. But it may be very difficult for them to do so without significant pastoral support and guidance. Dr. Towns offers hope for those stuck in grief, and healing in the form of developing a “new normal” (88).

Dr. Kay Towns is a Doctor of Professional Counseling (Mississippi College) and a licensed professional counselor. She also received a Master of Theological Studies from Southern Methodist University and a Master in Counseling from Huston Graduate School of Theology. She is an ordained minister in the United Methodist Church. Her passion for the subject of grieving and the development of the “GRACE Grief Model” comes out of her own personal experience of intense loss (104–106).

Towns brings together Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), narrative therapy (NT), and a modified version of Park’s Meaning Making Model into a unified “GRACE Grief Model” intended to provide counseling, support, and healing for those experiencing loss. Her model is particularly unique in its integration of CBT into grief counseling.

Towns has provided this model for us in two volumes. The book gives the content of her model and its defense, along with material directed at both counselor and the person who is grieving. The workbook (sold separately) includes much of the content of her book, with additional exercises and examples which are very helpful in clarifying the model directed toward the person who is grieving.

As OPC pastors and elders, we are of course attracted to the concept of grace suggested in the title for her model. She employs the word here primarily as an acronym, G-R-A-C-E, not with particular theological intent. Nevertheless, her approach certainly emphasizes grace and is delivered with a non-judgmental compassion, which befits such a sensitive topic.

Towns’s five step model is summarized in this way (16, 18 [workbook]):

1. G – Grief is redefined as good.
2. R – Re-story the loss narrative.
3. A – Adopt new healthy ways to grieve.
4. C – Connect with self and others.
5. E – Engage in a new normal within a livable pattern of grief work.

While the principles Towns puts forth are applicable to normal grief of all kinds, her model is more directed toward patients suffering with prolonged or complicated grief.[1] Likewise, the extensive workbook would be best suited to those experiencing prolonged grief or those who desire to explore their personal experiences of grief more deeply.

Both volumes include an overview of grief, each of the five steps of her GRACE Grief Model, and a summary chapter urging those grieving to move on in their journey through grief into a new normal. Regretfully, the book jumps back and forth between academic defense, suggestions for counselors, and material intended for a grieving person. It is often difficult to determine which audience is in view. The workbook is far more focused on the person who is grieving, and thus, for many of us, it is the more useful volume.

A thorough evaluation of Towns’s book would require a Reformed critique of each of the three therapeutic approaches. A Reformed critique of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy would be worthwhile for the pages of Ordained Servant, given the wide-spread use of CBT in psychiatric and behavioral health settings today. Narrative therapy, combined with narrative reconstruction, assists the grieving person in re-writing the stories that they use to describe themselves and their place within the world around them, in order to reflect on their grief more positively and hopefully (19–21). Meaning making, as a therapeutic technique, is used to assist people in examining their personal world and life view, their values, beliefs, and practices, and to integrate this into their journey of grief (21–22). A critique of each of these approaches to mental health lies beyond the scope of this review. It is worthwhile noting Towns’s efforts to integrate spirituality and religion into each of these three therapeutic approaches, particularly CBT, which is often undertaken by therapists who have little awareness of or interest in their client’s faith or religious practices.

On a practical level, Towns’s book and workbook have many insightful passages which I found helpful. These are accompanied by concrete examples, particularly in the workbook. The workbook also provides probing questions which press the reader to reflect on grieving. However, this is offset by the almost complete lack of interaction with Scripture or theology.[2] In her discussions of religion, Towns tends to include Christianity alongside Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, and Hinduism, approaching each relativistically and often superficially, primarily focused on their respective beliefs and practices in relationship to grieving. Still, her own theological perspective and Christian faith and compassion shows through at various points.

I cannot recommend the book for use in OPC churches. Its lack of interaction with Scripture and its extreme relativistic inclusiveness would not be appropriate within our solidly Christian and Reformed tradition. But I can say to pastors and elders that it is worth considering many of the grief related issues raised therein. I would recommend the workbook to OPC pastors and counselors. Despite its near total lack of biblical references, it offers extremely helpful exercises for counseling persons experiencing prolonged or complicated grief. I believe that the workbook, used in conjunction with solid biblically based counseling, could help some people stuck in grief begin to move forward toward healing.

Endnotes

[1] Dr. Towns’s distinctions regarding the types of grief are found on pages 7–11 of the book, and pages 2–5 of the workbook.

[2] Dr. Towns makes only two specific references to the Bible, Jeremiah 66:9 (We may note that Jeremiah only has 52 chapters; I believe her reference is intended to be Isaiah 66:9) and Psalm 34:18. Neither is exegeted nor applied to the context of her model.

Gordon H. Cook, Jr. is a retired pastor, coordinator of the Pastoral Care (Chaplain) program for Mid Coast Hospital, and a retired chaplain for hospice care with CHANS Home Health in Brunswick. He resides in White River Junction, Vermont. Ordained Servant Online, May, 2025.