Making the Internet Safer for Families

The Internet is a rich source of (and resource for) many good things beneficial to the family. It is, however, not without risk, so it is important to be aware both of the dangers and of ways ito avoid them.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) in its "Safety Net" area sets forth some of the dangers of the Internet, especially for children:

For the most part, the Internet is a rewarding place for both kids and teens, but the potential risks to their privacy and personal safety are real. While surfing the Web, your children may stumble upon disturbing information or images, or they may innocently accept or share files that could expose your family to Internet thieves or computer viruses. They may encounter cyberbullies who try to embarrass or intimidate them. Even worse, your children may unknowingly communicate with child predators, who use the Internet to befriend vulnerable children by pretending to be another child or a trustworthy adult and then try to persuade them to meet in person.... Security software ... offers some protection. But being aware of the risks and engaging with your children about safety are the most important things you can do to keep your family safer online. ("Safety Net," AAP)

(Some of those warnings apply to parents as well!)

That site also provides links to issues inside and outside the AAP site dealing with children and the Internet. One example of a helpful AAP article on that Web site is "Safety Tips for Surfing the Internet" It's a "PDF" file, so you may need Adobe Acrobat Reader to view it. Here are the main suggestions offered (see the article itself for more details):

• People Your Child Meets on the Internet Are Strangers.
• Talk with Your Child About What He [or She] Sees and Does on the Internet.
• Ask Your Child About the People [He or] She Meets on the Internet.
• Meeting "Friends" from the Internet in Person requires adult supervision.
• E-Mailing Personal Information Should be Done Only with Permission.
• Have Frequent Discussions with Your Child About Conversations and Messages He [or She] Receives Through the Internet.
• Set Clear House Rules About Internet Use.

What is evident here is that parents should have a good relationship with their children and be involved in their lives.

Some parents find "parental control software" (CyberPatrol, NetNanny, CyberSitter, etc.) to be helpful. But which should they use? Which is the "best"?

If you do a Google search for "parental software best" (or some equivalent phrase), you'll find that many of the Web pages in the results list are selling one software program in particular or selling a number of such programs, none of which receive any negative comments. In general, these are NOT the best places to obtain objective reviews.

Here's one site I frequently use:

     SnapFiles

Suggestion: If you go there, click on the "Freeware" or "Shareware" tab, choose your topic of interest (e.g., say, "Child Safe Internet" under "Browser Tools"), and then select "sort this page by" (not "date" or "popularity," but) "rating." In addition to the site rating, you'll sometimes find "user opinions" which may be worth reading. (My advice is to ignore the "ads by Google.") (You'll also find an indication of the software's "popularity," which, in my opinion, is usually a less important consideration.)

Here for example, is the SnapFiles description of a program called "Integard":

Integard is an internet content filter that enables you to block unwanted web content based on individual settings for each user. The program comes with pre-configured filter settings for different age levels (young child, teenager etc.) and allows for custom addition of websites and keywords to be allowed or blocked. You can also choose to set daily time limits for Internet usage, restrict (and/or log) the use of certain applications as well as Chat/IM programs, and optionally block foreign sites and online ordering. Integard not only filters web pages but also chat and email content and can maintain detailed logs for each user. Other features include blocking of personal data, email alerts, remote browser administration, automatic filter updates, stealth mode, integrated firewall and more. Integard works with all browsers and supports multiple users."

The program is rated five stars ("excellent") by SnapFiles (even though it got only two out of five for popularity), and thus may be worth exploring further.

Here are some of their comments on "Kids Web Menu" (two stars, "fair"):

Pros: Easy to use for small children. Cons: Does not protect your desktop; parents cannot add their own sites; does not support multiple users; no printing.

Other sources with more "objective" reviews include PC Magazine, C|NET, and similar sites. See, for example, PC Magazine on Child-Safe Browsers" and 12 Tools to Keep Kids Safe Online>." Another source of more objective reviews "Parental Control Software" is "Computer Shopper (UK)."

"Tools for Families"" on the GetNetWise site (and that entire site, in general) is a very helpful resource.

Parental software, however, cannot be a full substitute for good parenting. If you have (or have had) adolescents in your family, you may have noticed two things about teenagers: (1) often they are more "computer-savvy" than their parents and (2) they love to share "secrets" with one another (particularly things parents may not know or may not want them to know).

Such "secrets" may include how to defeat various parental software programs. Yes, there are ways to defeat such programs, and it is not difficult to find specific instructions on how to do so.

For example, the following comes from just one Web page (I'm omitting the URL and the specifics of the instructions):

"How To Disable Internet Filtering Programs.... Internet filtering software, internet babysitter programs, web blocking software...call it what you will, it is software that runs in the background on the machine you surf the 'net with for the purpose of restricting access to certain types of Web content -- client-side Web censorship.... Censorware ... is typically fairly easy to disable despite password-protection and other schemes designed to deter....
How do I disable the censorware?....
How to disable AOL Parental Controls....
How to disable Cyber Patrol....
How to disable CYBERsitter....
How to disable Cyber Snoop....
How to disable Eyeguard....
How to disable Net Nanny....
How to disable SurfWatch....
How to disable WinSelect....
[How to get] around a Proxy Filter....
[How to get around] Censorware Not Listed...."

For some parental software programs, three or four "Methods" for defeating the software are given. (And that same site tells "How ... to get around government-imposed or other IP-based censorship.")

This note is a "heads up" for parents. Don't assume that because you are using particular parental software that members of your family are safe from "the seamier side of the 'net."

Now, such software can be helpful (and hopefully members of the family have not found out on their own -- nor have their friends told them -- how to defeat such software). My main point is this: parental software can never fully take the place of involved parenting. Specifically, no parental software can take the place of good Christian parenting. Parents make the best parents!

This article is likely to be expanded, so please feel free to email your questions, comments, and suggestions on "Making the Internet Safer for the Family" at traver.1@opc.org. (An example of such a suggestion is that the best place to set up a computer is not a child's bedroom, but in a heavily traveled thoroughfare. Another suggetion: rather than installing "parental software" on your computer, explore the benefits of signing up with an ISP which filters content at their end. Have other suggestions? Please send them!)