You Are Still a Mother: Hope for Women Grieving a Stillbirth or Miscarriage

Jackie Gibson

Reviewed by: Natalie Rensink

You Are Still a Mother: Hope for Women Grieving a Stillbirth or Miscarriage, by Jackie Gibson. New Growth, 2023. Paperback, 96 pages, $11.99. Reviewed by OP member Natalie Rensink.

One week away from her due date, Jackie Gibson’s daughter Leila died unexpectedly in the womb. Seven years after Leila’s death, Gibson has written You Are Still a Mother. The author courageously and skillfully tells her story, empathizes with her readers, illustrates compelling theological concepts, and discusses practical considerations. She accomplishes all this while constantly pointing readers to who they are—and who their children are—in Christ.

This is a vulnerable work. The author invites readers to experience each stage of her grief. We see her shock at finding out her womb has become a tomb. We glimpse the dread she experiences while waiting to deliver her stillborn daughter. We wince at the words offered to her as cold comfort in her suffering (even by those called to help bear her burdens). We follow her to the crossroad at which she chooses faith in the truth over her feelings. We consider with her the life of Job, concluding along with John J. Murray that “it was when Job was willing not to understand that he began to understand.” By the end, readers understand that pain does change, that suffering conforms us to Christ, and that our suffering can and will help others. As sojourners on this earth, we are called to walk with God in hope, even when our children have been called to his side.

The author acknowledges that readers are likely part of the “sad solidarity of mothers who carry around the hidden grief of a baby who died,” and she recognizes that she doesn’t speak for every grieving mother or family. Gibson’s husband, Jonny, is fond of saying, “Each person’s valley is each person’s valley.” While our stories have fundamental similarities, everyone’s path is different. Using excerpts from Scripture, poems, hymns, and other historical quotations, the author illustrates how countless parents have experienced the pain of child loss throughout history. Honoring these stories, the author interweaves these testimonials and ultimately points us to the “one character who is the same in all our stories. It is the God who made our precious children, and who called them home.”

I found this book helpful in my own grief journey and also commend it to anyone looking to deepen their understanding of the valley of child loss. The author provides a robust list of references and suggestions for further reading that was clearly curated with great care.

I especially recommend the audiobook of You Are Still a Mother, read by the author (two hours and thirty-seven minutes). You will have to read the book to understand why I will be thinking of the Gibsons and the faithfulness of the Lord whenever I see a daffodil.